Jumbo Jenny #usfatgirls
Jumbo Jenny is the name someone called me recently. And it still stings – even if she was talking about my “before photos”.
Some people talk about feeling so separated from their “former self” that they can’t even believe that was ever them. That’s not true for me. I didn’t shed the pounds and get rid of the old fat girl. I’m still in here. I’m still the same person with a different outside. I still have the same feelings whether fat or trim. That person didn’t disappear with the pounds. I’m not exactly the same person I was by any means, but that person isn’t gone. I’m both. I’m the new me AND the old me. So hearing “Jumbo Jenny” resonates too close to those old demons I felt when I felt helpless and alone and incapable of making the changes that needed to be made.
The new me isn’t actually a “new” me but rather a conglomeration of the two. And I love and accept both. And I’m repelled by those that only accept the new me. Or belittle the “Jumbo Jenny”.
I’m even more thankful to those who believed in me when I was “Jumbo Jenny” or I would’ve never made it to my most recent shape.
Change changed me. I’m thankful for those that saw through to me, rather than determined my name by my waist size.
Has something profoundly changed you? Loss of a loved one? Rejection? A miscarriage? A move? Even as you move on, do you realize you’re absorbing both the old and new? Does that resonate with you? You don’t have to forget, or remove, or reject the old to be an awesome you now! Both CAN be beautiful. It’s part of your story, of what makes you unique.
Thank you, for the many of you, who love me – inside and out no matter what. But for now, please just call me JennyB. 🙂