Did you say the “F” Word? Oh no you, di-unt! #UsFatGirls

Have you noticed we can look in the mirror and call ourselves fat, but oh no no no – no one else is allowed to?   Especially NOT our boyfriend or spouse.  It is totally off limits.  It is taboo for them to even remotely indicate you are anything but fabulous as you gobble down a package of Oreos.

Let’s get honest for a minute.  We want them to care about us, but not care how we treat ourselves?  We want them to fend for us, protect us, but heaven forbid they mention we have gotten fat and stopped caring for ourselves.  Girl, if he is staying with you, at least take care of yourself.  Our feminist selves want to stand on a soap box and say, “he has to love me for me”!!!!  He already does!  So do something for him, take care of yourself.  Be hot.  Be sexy.  Fill his head with so many images of you that he won’t desire to look at someone else.

Why, if he loves you no matter what, do you shut him out about your body, weight, grooming, identity, health, and taking care of  or neglecting yourself?  Why, if you know how much it matters to him, do you shut it down?  It DOES matter to a man, however chauvinistic is seems.  They are wired to be intrigued by their eyes.  That’s why Playboy and the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue are top sellers year after year.

Men respond to what they see.  Women respond to what they feel.

Have you ever noticed women’s romantic novels only have pictures on the covers?  The rest of the story is left for a woman to imagine in her own brain.  The writer knows the extent of a woman’s imagination and her ability to create word pictures on her own.  It is not the same for a man!

I am not giving permission for any man to verbally abuse you or treat you bad.  All I’m saying, girl, is stop treating yourself bad and then punishing him for trying to get you to take care of yourself.  Stop controlling everyone else as you try to make them accept your bad behavior!

Do you see how controlling and confusing this is to others?  You want everyone to love and accept you as you treat yourself bad?  They want to love you as you are, but they also want to know you aren’t trashing yourself physically and emotionally.   Are you raging at them silently about this?  Do you have a “don’t you dare mention it” attitude?

So, it’s time to be really honest . . . . has someone you love been trying to subtly tell you that you are treating yourself poorly?  Do you hear them?  Do you shut them down?  Have they given up?  Are you punishing them for bringing it up?  Are you telling them to shut up and mind their own business so you can continue to harm yourself?

Stop the madness.  Let them in.  Admit you are out of control.  Get off the couch or slow down at the office.  Stop eating junk.  Change your schedule.  Change your priorities.  Stop punishing others as they try to help.

I’ll get off my soapbox now!  Ha!