Just Say “Yes”!!! (Taking Risks) #UsFatGirls

When I gained all the weight I was down and out. And in that sad emotional state I stopped doing many things. It was just too much effort. I was saying no to many more things than I was saying yes. So all along this weight loss journey, since I started fighting back, I decided to say “yes” much more. As a family we decided that being too tired, or too stressed isn’t a reason to say no. We will always be too busy and will always be too tired, but we don’t want to miss out on life because of it.

One such event of my new “say yes” life happened this summer. There was a local audition being held for a major motion picture movie with the director of Dolphin Tale and Napoleon Dynamite. So we said yes and went to the audition. Both of my kids wanted to try out and I decided to try out too. Auditions were to begin at 8am and we expected a line, so we wanted to get there early. It was also about 30 minutes away from our house. So on a Saturday morning (the only day we have the option to sleep in), we got up at 4:30, got ready, ate breakfast, packed sack lunches, and took off. We laughed and giggled at each other in the car on the way guessing what we might have to do. Each of us practiced crazy voices.

As we showed up to the audition location (a local bar/grill/dance hall) we stood in line outside and eyeballed each other. Sometimes production companies plant staffers in the audition crowd to spy on candidates to see what they are “really” like, so we were giggling trying to identify who might be a spy. Every type of person was arriving in line: cowboys in full costume, bikers, moms, natives in full dress, teenagers, and us. With my previous dance experience, I have been to many casting calls and auditions, but this was the first time with my kiddos. It was fun. I was nervous for them, they were nervous and excited.

As they unlocked and opened the door we got our audition numbers. 012, 013, 014 and put them on our chest. We then went into a main dining area upstairs and got to meet the famous director and executive producer as well as the writer of the movie we were auditioning for. The movie was about a man, and that man was there as well. They gave us the low-down on the story-line of the movie and thanked us for attending. They also had a huge list of items needed for filming including a trained skunk, 4 wheelers, and a cow that can be ridden. The director is from the Black Hills and knows the area well, he thought it would be the perfect setting to create the shots he was hoping to film. The movie is called Matt Epic.

From there, we went to get our head shots taken. More like a mug shot – holding our name and audition number in front of us.

At this point everyone had an option: leave following head shots to be eligible for a part as an “extra”, or stay for line reading with one of the casting directors. We decided to stay (we say “yes”, remember). We were already here, let’s do it all!

To read for a speaking part we had to walk to the hotel next door where they had 2 suites side by side. In the hotel suite they had moved beds out. Audition-ers got lines in the sitting/couch area of the room and then went one by one back to the bed room area (where chairs replaced where a bed would normally be) to read for lines.

My son, daughter, and I went into the suite together and started practicing. I was sooooo nervous for my kids. I was wound up. I wanted to make sure this was a good experience for them! My daughter went first, had fun, and did great. Then it was my son’s turn – HE ROCKED HIS TRY-OUT!!! Finally it was my turn. I went in the room where 2 ladies sat in haphazardly placed chairs. One was the casting director, the other was an actress who would be reading lines opposite me. They asked a bunch of questions, highly complimented my kids, and asked, “You’re not from HERE, are you?” My years in Texas were still peeking through, I guess!

Then it was time. My turn. Time to read . . . my . . . . . lines?????? What lines???? I totally blanked!!!! They kept throwing questions and hints at me to get it. Nothing. There was nothing in my brain. In the lines, I was supposed the change the name of the lead male character. When they asked me what he should be called (hinting for me to change his name) all I could think of was, ——————————–> Sparkles! I called the Director SPARKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Buhahahahaha! The only response after the laughter was, “Thank you, don’t call us, yadda yadda . . “

Worst audition of my ENTIRE life!!!! Funniest audition of my entire life! My kids even asked when I came out of the room, “what happened?” They heard the huge laughing happening from the room. And they were like, “And you’ve done this before, you’re Ms. On Stage forever, and YOU blew it?” LOL!

I was so nervous for them that I wound myself up to total freak out mode by the time it was my turn. hahahahaha

So, did I fail? Should we have never gone? Were we crazy to go? (maybe). We gained an experience of a life time. We could’ve been in bed and merely spent the day hanging out and doing laundry, but we took a risk. We said yes. We didn’t let tired decide the day. We didn’t let the possibility of failure make us miss out. We loved every stinking minute of the craziness of the entire experience.

From an outsiders view, I blew it. I “failed” and was “rejected”. I used to live that way. I don’t live that way any more. The weight gain for me was just an outward sign of the internal “off” switch that had taken over my life. The weight loss now is just a reflection of the living I’ve decided to fight for again – even when it’s scary, even if I might fail, even if I might get hurt or rejected. I wouldn’t go back again for anything. The museum of memories we are making by living is life-impacting! Wanna join us?

So, days then weeks passed and we never heard back from the production company for a speaking part, then not even for parts as extras. The kids think it’s probably my fault. Tehee. I might have to agree with them. Even if they wanted my kids as extras they probably thought, “but they have that crazy mom, so noooooo way!” Tehee!

Have you stopped saying yes? Are you afraid? Are you missing out on life because you are too tired, or too stressed, or too afraid? I’ve been there too! You CAN fight back! You ARE worth fighting for! Life is out there waiting for you!