Mirror Mirror on the Wall . . . . #UsFatGirls

Mirror CatOn Saturday, while out window-shopping, my daughter and I landed together in a fancy schmancy bathroom/lounge. As we were washing our hands, and then I touched up my lips – she asked about my lipsticks – so I pulled them out of my purse to show all the colors and of course the one with sparkles. LOL!

Whenever we are in front of a mirror, I try to intentionally talk positively with her – and usually about her character – that she’s such a sweetheart, and an ambitious server that cares for others, or “show me your smart eyes” – she has this look she makes of her brilliant self – lol!

But on Saturday I talked about MY beautiful blue eyes and that I like to go crazy with make up to make them pop and yell wow, but that they are beautiful without all the artsy stuff I do with them too. – it was casual and nonchalant as I was putting the lipsticks away and she was drying her hands – in front of the giant mirror. Then I talked about “her beautiful blue eyes, just like her mama.” The whole mirror

conversation was maybe 1 minute long, 2 at the most – as we were leaving the bathroom.

Later that day, as she was talking to someone, I heard her talk about “her beautiful blue eyes, just like her mama” – she repeated WORD for WORD the casual mirror talk from that bathroom! I heard my words coming out of her mouth.

Identity, self perspective, emotions, and beauty really hit our hearts deep!
Were you given messages? Were they positive or negative? Do they still impact you?
Would you ever let someone else say to you the things you might be saying silently to yourself?
Be gentle with you, sweetie! You are a tender and beautiful soul.

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The above post stirred quite a conversation in the Facebook group. I’ve included a handful of the comments:

Melissa said: “I was totally called out in my cycle/ spin class this am. The instructor, who I adore, kept telling us to look in the mirror to check our form. I’m a glancer…it’s what I do…and she said “why won’t you ever look in the mirror?”. I wanted to disappear right there. I never answered her out loud but inside I did…ugh.”

Sue: “What was your (internal) answer? That you’re a beautiful, strong and fit woman? 🙂 “

Kirsta: “I’m so proud of you! You were IN class and workin it even with those feelings!! And you didn’t run out when she asked the questions!!! Woot! A-mazing!!!”

Melissa Answered: “If I told you what I said silently in my head, I’d have to kill you! Lol! It was too brutal to be written down anywhere. Thank you for your compliments! I have always assumed that most people have these thoughts when they look in the mirror. Its funny bc this all ties in to a fight I had with my husband the other night. I had ordered a dress and he wanted to see me in it (which I hate bc it makes me feel uncomfortable) and I asked him if he thought it was too tight in the top etc.. and then he said ..”well after your race in the heat you’ll be even smaller” and I was crushed by what he said..crushed! After I chewed him up and spit him out (lol) he said something about my self image always getting in the way of our relationship. And after reading what you wrote, Jenny, about your own daughter, I had a HUGE flashback to my mom. I remember watching her get dressed in the mirror and her saying to herself “Im such a stupid fat cow” and “I wish I had cancer so I could be thin” and on and on. Ding ding ding!!! Those messages never ever leave us, even when we haven’t thought about them in years. I love you ladies!!!!!!!!! I need this!”

Jenny (Me): I’m so honored you shared! Ug! Heart wrenching and beautiful!! Prayers for healing once and for all about how amazing and beautiful you are!!! You really are doing the hard work internally! So proud of you! Awesome share!

Melissa: “Oh geez…I feel like I just threw my mom under the bus though and that was not my intention. Just a piece of the puzzle is all. My mom has struggled with weight issues all her life. I don’t blame my parents for how Ive handled myself or my life. Thank you, Jenny, and everyone in this group!”

Jenny: (Me): “I so didn’t hear you disrespecting your mom. I heard an amazing moment of self discovery! No worries! Prayers for your sweet mom too!”

Stacey: “I make silly faces at myself and others in class, but if I didn’t look in the mirror I wouldn’t see how far I’ve come and how strong I’ve gotten. Throw out a duck face or two and be proud of your yourself for being there!”

Gretchen: “I guess I didn’t realize I was talking to myself while in front of the mirror. I need to go listen now and figure out how I’m treating myself!”

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