Feeling Accomplished, Yet Kicking Myself Too. #UsFatgirls

MedalI finished my second Half-Marathon on Saturday.  It was crazy brutal as well as amazing.

It was in Big Cottonwood Canyon in Utah and it’s a severe downhill course except for the last three miles.  It’s fast.  It’s beautiful.  Lined with waterfall and Autumn color changes.

Two of my trainees also ran.  It was their first race.  I was elated by their finish and so proud of them and honored to get to see them cross.

I PR’d the race, but am mad at myself too!  (PR – stands for Personal Record – I beat any previous times I had prior to this race).

I was hauling the first six miles with an average pace of approximately 7:30 per mile (7 minute, 30 seconds per mile) pace.  I was hauling.  While training, I typically hang around 9:30 per mile pace.  My goal when I train on fast days is to try and bust under 9.  To have a consistent pace under 8 was overwhelming, thrilling, and so motivating to keep going to flyi through the course.  But then it hit.  The burn out.  I totally fried myself by going too fast.  I had very little left in my tank.  I had to walk much of miles 9-12.  It was defeating and frustrating and I just couldn’t make my body do what my head was fighting to tell it to do.

And gravity was awesome with the down hills but took a toll on new muscles not used to adjusting to such a degree of dissent.  I was fried.  A friend even said, with all of the downhills, “If all else fails you can always just tuck and roll!”  LOL!

After a brutal ending, I finally spied the finish.  Then I spotted the clock.  I raced (more like hobbled) to cross the finish with a time reading 1:58.  This means I finished 13.1 miles in less than two hours.  But then when the official times came in, my official time was 2:01:40.  Ug!  I missed the 2 hour mark by ONE minute?!!!!!   Didn’t I have 1-2 minutes in my tank somewhere?

Jen RacingYes, I beat all of my previous times by 16 minutes (thanks to gravity) but to come so close, yet not get under 2.  This is why I am kicking myself!

I’m thankful I finished, but now I must bust under the 2 hour mark!  I’m on a mission.  I’m of course proud to finish any distance race – but there is a lingering longing in my heart following this particular finish!  Kazaah!!!  I AM very proud I left it all on the course.  I truly used all that was within me and that feels great1

Have you ever been so close, yet so far from a goal?  Can you taste it?

How do you handle defeat?

Gooooo  Big!!!!