Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. I Don’t Hate You Anymore! #UsFatGirls

i-am-beautiful-logoI’m not quite sure when it happened until I actually noticed the difference.

That moment when I started looking in the mirror and seeing someone beautiful and cute and pretty, rather than loathing the feelings as I looked in the mirror. It was weird. I have lived with that horrible feeling so long, I was a little stunned I didn’t feel that way anymore.  The bad feelings were so normal it’s like I had mentally accepted punishing myself daily.

Have you felt that way? Hiding in photos because they always turn out bad, spending as little time in front of the mirror as possible – especially without clothes on, because . . . . UG! – —I felt,   well,   ugly!   And I didn’t like what I was seeing and was too defeated to feel any different.

I know the heart-change was a process not a moment, and I know it was BEFORE I lost all the weight, but something definitely changed.

Even now when I hear the ladies I work with feel so frustrated trying on clothes and angry at how they move and self-loathing like I used to, I share over and over,

“You won’t always feel this way!!! You are doing the hard work to change your life, inside and out.   Soon you WILL feel different and you WILL feel better – as you move and as you look in the mirror.”

What a relief that hope is possible!  What a relief I don’t have to feel terrible all the time anymore.

Jen LaughingThis crazy laughing photo of me is blurry and not perfect or even professional, but I like it because it shows I feel beautiful and FREE!  My hair is wonky and my face crazy but it shows something very important to me = I’m no longer loathing myself!  I was completely enjoying the person I was with, enjoying life.  Free!  (ok, now that I look at it a little bit more, it looks a little bit like I smelled something bad too – maybe I did?  LOL)

Why did I wait so long to feel better and fight back?  I have no idea, but I’m so thankful the fight did show up – better late than never!

How about you? What makes you feel beautiful? Do you feel pretty? (Now I’m hearing the song, ha- “I feel pretty, pretty . . . .”)

Do you love or loathe the person in the mirror?

She’s pretty special!   I hope you are saying amazing and kind things to her!

#feelingreflective (pun intended)