Raising a Daughter with a Healthy Self Image! Wow! Not Simple! #UsFatGirls

I felt a small mom victory yesterday.  My daughter had a school event, after the event she said, “It was awesome, I totally rocked it!”


Photo of us in 2008, when I could still carry her. She’s older now. Photo by JWilkensenCo.

I was soooooo proud of her.  Not just for the amazing job at the event, but more about how she viewed herself.  She just said she rocked!  Woot!

Raising a daughter in a world where self esteem and female body identity are totally messed up, it was a moment of relief.

Really?  How often do you hear any woman say something positive about herself?

My daughter wasn’t gloating or bragging or expressing inappropriate arrogance.  She did a good job and said so.  Yeah!  Why is it so rare any more?

Most females live with either self-loathing, false humility, or a huge “don’t you dare mess with me” protective wall.  Getting to see her excited and rocking her day made me feel relieved for her.

She hasn’t hit the teen years yet and my prayer is that how she feels about herself survives the ups and downs that are ahead.

I have been intentional to pour into her words of affirmation.  We have had many moments in front of the mirror together getting ready for our day. As she looks at herself in the mirror I talk to her.  I say things like, “Aren’t those freckles beautiful?”,  “Look at that total caring sweetheart.”  I share with her as she’s looking at herself in the mirror.  I say them on purpose as she is looking at herself hoping and praying that, in the days ahead when I’m not in the bathroom next to her getting ready, they will still ring in her head and heart.

I share how unique and precious she is inside due to her tender and caring character.  I share how special she is and that God made her exactly as she is.  I tell her she is highly valuable and nothing on her is an accident or mistake but beautiful and on purpose. I share how much we wanted her and are thankful she is in our family and thankful for every day near her.  She is goofy, and silly, and fun and makes all of us laugh and we like being around her.  I share that every crooked tooth, every curl on her head, and every mole on her skin is precious.

I say those words to her and about her and totally believe them.  They are the truth.  I am not boasting.  I am not misleading or embellishing – she really is all of those things.  She knows if it’s false flattery, don’t we all know when someone tries that with us?

But the best part about hearing her words was that I wasn’t the one saying them.  It’s how she views herself.  It was strong and beautiful.  She felt able.  I’m thankful.

Do you feel beautiful?  Do you ever?  Do you feel strong?  Do you have days when you totally rock it?  Did you have someone that poured out their love on you?  Do you feel highly valuable and wanted?  Do you live with self-loathing as part of every day life?  How do you talk to yourself as you look in the mirror?  What do you see when you look in the mirror?  Do you find it difficult to raise girls feeling good about their bodies?  How do you feel about your body?  Does that impact what you are passing along to your daughter?