People Suck, Now What? #UsFatGirls

I want to be the first to formally apologize.  I want to say, “I’m sorry” because maybe they haven’t or ever will.  That sux. I’m sorry there is someone(s) in your life that hurt you.  Most people wound others out of their own selfishness, insecurities, skills lacking, or neglect.  Active harm as well as absence both hurt.  Abuse and neglect cause damage.

I’m so sorry there are people unwilling or unable to give what you need.  I’m sorry you have been hurt, alone, wounded, offended, abused, neglected, harmed, rejected, invalidated, belittled, unheard, cheated on, lied to, used, cheapened, uncared for, expected to be more, or told you were never enough.20140110-105253.jpg

If no one else says it, please hear me honestly and with all of my heart say, “I’m sorry!”  It’s long overdue.  And somebody needs to say it even if they never will.

You are worth it.  You are enough.  You are not a mistake.

So, . . . . Now what?

Even if they never give what you need, how are you going to live?

All of us have a choice to either be a victim of our circumstances or a survivor.  How will you live?

Victim = “Poor me, I’m wounded, they did this. I’m going to hide or put up a ‘don’t-mess-with-me-so-I-can-control-everything-wall’ so no one else hurts me.” = Weak and Afraid.

Survivor = “I’m strong, I survived!  If I’m still breathing after all of that, I can do anything!  It’s a part of me, let’s live.” = Strong and Overcoming.  Maybe still afraid. but do it afraid.

I do not mean to minimize or invalidate wounds in any way.  And please get the necessary help matching the level of hurts you’ve endured.   But after any crisis or trauma, there is still life on the other side.  How will it define you?  What will your life now, with this wound being apart of you, look like?

Did you know scar tissue is stronger than original tissue? Did you know a broken bone, once healed, has extra layers of repaired bone making the location of the break exponentially stronger?  Have your wounds kept you broken or created new areas of unplanned strength?

“Hurt people, hurt people” ~ John Maxwell

Many times the one we hurt is our self!  Often the hurter no longer even needs to be present, we keep repeating the hurts.

Is your lingering hurt hurting you or others around you? Did whoever hurt you act out of their own messed up hurt and damage? Stop the cycle!

As many of you know, I’m a recovering addict with real wounds.  I formerly was a houseparent for 70 teen girls.   I work with recovering addicts and weight loss trainees with deep wounds weighing them down.  Too many have had heart breaking circumstances.  It’s truly awful and devastating! If I ever wondered if evil or sin existed, the evidence is clear!

No matter the severity of trauma, one question defines the trajectory and functionality of our lives after.
“People suck and do horrible things, how are you going to live?”

I live free and can function due to faith, prayer, and a huge network of support.

I love you.  I want you free.

It happened.  It hurt.  It’s a part of you.  And you are beautiful.

What does living look like?